Jona8than Green Art and Other Things

"It is the bareness of drawing that I like. The act of drawing is what locates, suggests, discovers."

Philip Guston, 1913 - 1980

"I don't need no make up
I got real scars
I got hair on my chest
I look good without a shirt"

Tom Waits, Going Out West

It's the Christmas holidays. I'm enjoying myself, relaxing as much as I can. Eating well. Resting a lot. Just generally taking it easy. Reading. Practicing anatomy drawing. Really trying to get the body structure down, improve my figure drawing and drawing in general.

The idleness gets to me. I shouldn't ever be not working. Feels odd. I was hoping when I came home to start thinking of new imagery to pursue, new Arctic imagery. There are still some ideas left in my sketchbook. Was also hoping to straighten out why I'm doing that imagery, that work. Seems like a lot behind it. Lot of different threads. The starting thread, the inspiration changed. Changed, as I guess it is suppose to.
It's funny, I've never really wrote any of it out. Always talked about it the most general terms. Mueller always said it can be personal, but no one needs to know. They need to know a little, I do need a statement for the show. Something. Something for grants even.

The writing about art thing, by artists. Scrap that, was going to write about how writing about art by artists is annoying and only a recently imposed thing. But really, it isn't a bad thing. Just me trying to avoid it. I really got to work on it. Maybe some writing in a notebook first.

He cut, split, the backbones out. The cuthroat cut between the head and gills, sliced down the abdomen from that cut. The header took the liver out, and wretched the head off. The splitter took the backbone out. The salter salted.

It was said of my Pop Green he always had a sound bone in the air. Which means as he cut the backbone out and tossed it, he was already cutting the backbone out of another before the backbone of the other one landed.

If you're wondering, I'm speaking of fish. and don't ask what kind, for it's Newfoundland and fish means something particular here.

A splitter. On the Labrador Coast. Land of Cain they call it.

I may be from the land of Cain, but I've never had a sound bone in the aire. Fuck, I wouldn't know to be a splitter if I wanted to be. I'd make a mang of the fish if I had to cut the backbone out.

Great Grandfather Brown, Henry, I believe the name was. Earl Pilgrim, an author and historian, said "he was the hardest man in White bay". That's a lot of mileage. Not sure what that totally entitles, but got an inkling. He was 7ft tall mind you, and that must help someone from fucking with ya. It's unlikely the same will be ever said of me.

It's hard measuring up to people of the past, people you don't know. It's even harder trying to find someone worth measuring up to as well. For a while there it was only ever fictional characters, and now, well, hasn't changed a whole lot. It's a dilemma to me. How to better myself when I can't seem to find a real better.
It's not a superiority complex, but rather a recognizing that everyone is in the same state as me.

If none better, than even something to rebel against would be good. But really, got nothing.

This is what happens when I'm not in the printshop

Do you think a person can be calculating in regards to how their life pans out? That one can calculate the right things to do, and then do them?


...It's a weird thought for Christmas Eve/Day now...maybe it is reading too many comic books...

It's been an O.K. week for me. Just getting a need to go off radar again for a while

Print wise, I have successfully etched my plates. Started printing my biggest plate, let's call the "ship" plate. Using colour again, I know, exciting! Nice green colour, it glows. Props to John McD for helping me there. I'll get a pic tomorrow I think. So that print is on to the B.A.T stage, now editioning.

Got two more prints to complete before Christmas, and would like to get my lithograph started soon. It's an intense image, well, not intense, but a technical image. Might be better if I practice over xmas, on my figure drawing. Might be a nice Christmas project for me. I have a bunch of anatomny books at home as wll, as well as a dad who sleeps a lot and a brother.

I'm doing well at the shop though. I have gotten some fine praise from Scott Goudie, and Gerry Squires knows my dedication. Was asked about a project by him, but beyond my experience right now. Would love to assist on that tho. Be so good for me.

Been working at the call centre thse past few nights. Trying to get a last few dollars out before Christmas. I hope I win the christmas raffle tomorrow at work, they have a big basket of booze for raffle. Be effing sweet. Only bought one ticket, but one is all thats needed to win. Work ends Friday or Thursday perhaps, a little up in the air.

Mike, the director gave me a little job of printing for this guy. He has some small lino cuts done by some kids, and needed them printed. Mike gave it to me; Might only be a few twenties, but really generous of him. I owe these people so much.

Going out Thursday night, yes, I should be working...sigh...sabatoge? A friend asked me to go to a show with her. Be nice to do something.

Was going to write something really introspective tongiht, least had thoughts...maybe another night.

Printed two plates today. They went swell, though one need a a bit more work. But was interesting. Need to try the bigger one with some colour, perhaps some blue. Bring out some depth in it.
I need pictures, so I can classify more than just bigger and smaller. Visuals help when speaking of visual art I've been told.

Picked up my art procurement submission today, I didn't get bought by the City, no biggie. Picked up a bottle of red wine. Ease my sorrows.

I was distracted a bit today, by my own self. Brain all over the place. Checking email too often. Looking for distractions. Cleaned out my paper cupboard. I have a lot of prints. There's still some images I need to get down though. Still feels like working up to something, something bigger, grander.

I guess I just feel I'm not getting to the reason I'm making this work, not showing the initial reasoning, showing what I'm trying to get at with the work. The heart of the matter. It's funny, I would never write it down though. Never tell verbally. Probably no wonder it is so hard to get there, I don't want you to know. Or I do. Just want you to work for it. I think my fourth year adviser Stephen Mueller is a big influence here.

Need to print for a bit. Let the mind wander. Need to get a lot done before Christmas.

I attended St. Michael's Annual General Meeting tonight. First time at one. Interesting to see how they work. I'm not technically a member; but John and Mike asked me to go. There was pizza and pops from Pi Pizza. I recommend it. Good pizza. Their salmon pizza was very curious. I liked it. I was able to interject a little input into the discussion. As well, there was some praise for me for doing what I've been doing.

The praise was nice. The board was very happy to learn I'm going to Banff. It's very nice to e validated by your peers.

I've been lazy though.
I have been at the Shop, but not printing like I should. Making plates. Though I think everyone prefers making plates. I have three plates now needing editioning. One that needs proofing.
And a litho stone that needs a drawing as well as a stone that needs a final graining.
Lot of things in the fire. Just got to get back to the hunger inside.

The worst is that I bought a new little plate the other day, and have been fretting over what to draw on it for two days. I should just work through it, and thats what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Scott Goudie gave me a small print for Christmas. He did an edition of a small copper plate for a Christmas gift kinda thing. Dan is bringing me an anatomny book the next time he's in, to help ith one of my drawing, well, I guess, all of my drawings. Mike and Tia gave me a Christmas card as well. I should get my own done soon, or buy some.

My mom and brudder should be in Friday. Mom is doing some shopping for xmas, as well as bringing in some boots for me.

I still need a roommate for the place.

Fridtjof Nansen, 1861 - 1930

One of the greatest Northern explorers. He drifted around the Arctic for over two years, made a mad dash for the pole, and then a long struggling journey home.

He went after this goal, a prize of prizes at the time. Pierre Berton's title "Arctic Grail" captures the weight of the quests by all the polar explorers. Countless explorers before him had gone after it, many had perished. There was such a gravitas about the North Pole. Yet he captures it right, what does it really matter if you achieve it?

I really wonder the same. Then again, I read that and wondered how I could convey it a print first. I don't know if I can, hasn't clicked in yet. Yet that is as much as my body of work is about as the rest of it. Actually, there is a lot wound up in this body of work. Sometimes too much.

My face is really dry. I think it is on part winter, 1 part printshop chemicals. Need to moisturize like a fiend. I need to make a trip to the grocerier as well soon. Also would like to pick up a bottle of wine for the weekend. Or liquor. Probably liquor. Wish more girls liked whiskey. Sigh.

I just proofed a new plate, it has an aquatint on it along with hard ground and soft ground etching. Warmed it up [very cold here], inked up swell, blotted the paper well, and printed it. And the cursed, trice cursed blanket either has a depression in it or water from someone printing earlier. And so there is a large white spot on my print. I could see a ton of ink still on the plate. Just this big blot on the paper, where there was no contact.

I hate that.

The sides printed beautifully, those areas were rich in blacks and my soft ground came out. Not totally noticeable due to an aquatint being overlaid; it gave a detail that otherwise wouldn't be there.

A former professor told me I could get some good ones, from England, and if I just used them for myself, they'd last for 25+ years. Would only be 600 dollars or such. So...

Maybe I have to move to the bigger press. Another artist is editioning this week anyway, so the small press will be pretty much booked.

It's a bigger plate, 18" x 12 1/2", so on smaller plates and non aquatint plates, the blot wouldn't come out.
I still have a litho stone waiting for a drawing as well. Haven't drawn on or printed a stone in a while. Maybe do some sketching tonight for an idea.

Groceries are needed as well.

It's snowing out this morning. Well, snowing and raining at the same time. Very sloppy out. I drudged to the printshop at 11, having to lift my pants up like a nun with her habit. The asian variety store was out of cans of pop. I bought a bottle, plastic, which, for some reason does not sit well with me.

It's cold in the office here, more than previous days. I work at 2pm. At the call centre. Working on my aquatint till then. This one is a different, I'm kinda experimenting, hoping for an effect, that might not happen.

It feels like I've slowed down a bit. I have been gone though like last week. I suppose I must consider that.

My work, the body of work I've been making...can I call it birthing? I have been in labour with it. I wonder about it. Looking at the whole of it. Really wonder how this body will look once on the walls. It seems so disjointed at times, the veins are thick in some places, in other pieces, mere capillaries. Some times it feels I'm giving too much away, in other, not so.
Am I achieving the poetic?

I had a good couple of days in the shop. Working on two...three...four? new plates.
It's cold here tonight however. I have a plate to proof, but my hands feel too cold to do it. As wonderful as St. Michael's is, it could do to be a little more cozier. Old building. I know all the reasons why it isn't warm; but still. It just could do to be a little warmer, some nicer chairs for my back. Hahaha. Basically, I could do a little overhaul on the shop.

Another reason for my not proofing my plate tonight is I'm so tired. Well, not tired. I'm crashing. I just had my first meal a half an hour ago; chicken nuggets. My coke fix could only keep me going for so long. Now I just want to sleep.

There is a staff party tonight for the Call Centre I work for tonight. I should go to it. Free drinks and finger food. I've worked there a total of 1 week. All nights. That's not really a reason however for not going. I just feel it'll be awkward to go. I am allowed to bring a guest. I don't have a guest. Not sure if feeling the socializing and making polite chitchat conversation with people tonight. Not sure if I could. Might be a few hot girls there. I'm growing a bad moustahce however.

Yes, I should shave. But I have to see if I can do it. Just for the photo opportunities.

So lame

So my belief that my interview with the Banff Centre was horrible, may have been a little unfounded; or perhaps it was horrible but the other candidates were worse, for I got the position. Yes, I will be the next Visual Arts Studio Work Study person this coming April till November. Very jacked about that. I found out Saturday morning, finally checking my email since Tuesday while at my friends house in Port Au Port. Turns out they had been trying to call me, but having phone problems. So yeah, going to Banff.

I was out on the West Coast of Newfoundland for the West Coast Craft Fair. I went to assist with the St. Michael's Printshop Booth. We were there from Wednesday [after the 8 hour drive of course] and drove back yesterday. I had a rad time bumping in to people, and hanging with the best friends. There was some drinks, and pizza, and just great relaxing moments. Talked about grad school with some of my professors, and was positive, but Banff will come first now.

Just had a really good time, and showed some people my new prints. Even had a little talk with a class. Showed them my work, and told them about what I have been doing. Mentioned the Don Wright Scholarship a lot as well, hopefully it will inspire some more applicants this year.

Aimed at using some of the time over in Corner Brook as some sketching time for my art, but that didn't come about. Which is fine, I did other wonderful things. Just got to work on some new pieces. I got a litho stone there just waiting for a drawing, and a lot of plates to edition. Just got to get to work.

Figured since I have mentioned putting up work before, and showed some work in Corner Brook, then perhaps it is about time I put some up now. [Notice that my photography skills are horrible.] The works have titles and all that, but they're written down somewhere and not in the mood to type them. They're all aquatint, drypoint, etching combinations. Zinc plates.










I have a lot more. And want more for my show in April. April is looking to be a good month, with having my art show and then off to Banff for the work study. I am still worried about surviving to April. The winter months are hard. Was hard getting back at my work today as well, been away a week from it, or more, because of new job. Been thinking on typography lately, and incorporating text and word into works. Most of my work is drawn from that, but it isn't acknowledged so much.

I just ate two doughnuts. All I ate today. I know one day my body will fail me, because I fail my body. I wonder if it will be soon.

I finally picked up my money from Bianca's yesterday. Wasn't as awkward as I thought, was quick and out. Enough to pay my bills, well, not all of them, the apartment bills. Save a little to get by on.
I had an interview for a call centre today, that seemed to go well. Then I had an interview for a big arts centre in say..Western Canada, that could of went better. Fucked that up. I fuck up everything good for me. Sometimes I redeem myself. I always have to redeem myself. Only sometimes do I do it.

I helped set up the St. Michael's Booth at the Newfoundland and Labrador Craft Council Fair today, after the interviews. The craft fair looks good, a lot of interesting booth and work there. People put so much work in to their booths and presentation, and it reflects so well. St. Michael's looks really nice. A print of mine is for sale there. Looks swell matted. All the money goes towards the shop, so a good cause.

I finished an edition yesterday, of a bigger intaglio print. Just a little less than half a plate. That was good. Used colour for first time in a long while, as well as tried out some Fabrianano Tielpolo paper. Went really well.

I wish sometimes I could get it all together. I take time, drag my feet a little. I think I'm doing fine though, just self doubt is a mind killer.

Be alright that after a day of messing with prints and spending enough of my share of time on the internet, that when I got home, I just went to bunk instead of two, three hours on the net some more. Should go unplugged for a few days, then record an album about or write a book, Jonathan Unplugged.

That's not funny at all.

I entered the St. John's Art Procurement Program today, a program where the city of St. John's procures art for its collections. I am as well entering the Member's Show at Eastern Edge Gallery, which is a showcasing of art by the members of Eastern Edge Gallery. Both are good opportunities. Though need to focus on more, focus on going after more things.

I figured on this posting, I would try to write about my art a bit more. I need to be able to write about it -for artist's statement and proposals - so figured I ould start here. Should of started months ago, but alas. Some people term it "bullshiting" and perhaps there is an element of that about it as well. I always wonder when people say "Oh, I bullshited" my way out of that one in terms of critiques, I wonder who did they bullshit? The other people in believing them, or themselves? It's hard to be honest with one's self, hard to be honest with your art. You're putting yourself out there at times as it is with art, never mind writing about it.

My art. What am I doing? Maybe a point would be to state what I have ben reading the past few months, as it hasn't been a lot. I've read
Ernest Becker's Denial of Death,
Pierre Berton's Arctic Grail
Larry River's Digressions and Drawings
Francis Latreille White Paradise: Jurneys to the North Pole

I just finished eating 3 of my mudders homemade buns. She calls them rolls, I call them buns. There is probably a very distinct difference in the two, but they look like like doughy arses to me, thus buns is what I use. Should make little spinchter bread rolls one day.

Came back into town today, dropped my stuff off at the house and went to St. Michael's. Caught up on all the news and goings on, seein hat the b'ys are up to. The 2008 St. Michael's Printshop Playing Cards are done, looking good. Ace of Hearts looks pretty sharp. The decks of cards are $25 dollas each, so pick one or two up.
It was a good day printing, expermenting with colour in my prints. Using a la poepee colour method. Looks okay. Not really getting the colour saturation I want, looks good, but not quite what I want. So have to work on that. Was nice there today though, busy, a few people working. Good energy around. The newsletter will be out soon, which I managed to get my ol'mug into. A lot of stuff on da bop there.

Came home early though, feling a little tired and not wanting to work through it. Trying to regnerate some ideas now. Trying to find that little twist for my imagery. Almost finished my Zizk book, so letting that sink in and see where it goes. Had a little sidenote on perspective and vanishing points used in artwork, how it is a example of the "Real". I don't explain it very well, but got me thinking. I'll try again one day.

I'm going to be in the Eastern Edge Gallery's Member's Show coming up. Looking forward to that. Show off to all ya mofos here in St. John's. haha. I got a lot of stuff besides that I need to crawl on top of soon.

A pretty young thing is suppose to get abck to me about some idea she had last night, so waiting on that too.

"I've been going thirty-for-sixty
without the five ever since.

The hole grows deeper and deeper.

And now it's my turn to bid again.

I don't have the five in my hand
and I've little else to go on.

But what the hell!

Thirty-for-sixty!"

Al Pittman


Leaving to go back to town tomorrow. Home for a funeral. I have my thoughts on it, it being my first, but I'll leave them to myself. I dislike the language associated with it, but its just twiddling thumbs really. Talked to the minister a bit at the funeral, nice guy, said he'd like to stay in touch. Maybe he didn't see the Nietzsche in me, hard to without such a mustache. Hard to say. Can't tell the mind of a squid.

I go back in town. Look for a new job. Quit my other job. Not that it was helping me that much to live anyway. I get a paycheck this week. None of my prospects turned out. Shouldn't of though they would. Trying not to get down on it, it's part of the game. So I'll look for more things, do the art in the meanwhile. Glad I have St. Michael's. It really keeps me afloat...in the psychic sense that is. Really my sole reason to be in town at all at times. Only way to keep the art flowing. Wish I could figure how to throw a bit of my creativity on my economic situation.

I hate that 'economics' rears its head all the time. It's such a bore and a vulgar thing to be doing so. If it bores me, I can only imagine the reader.

Read passages of "An Island in the Sky" selected poetry of Al Pittman. Always cheers me up a bit. It feels like something is being missed by me. I read works by him, and it always feels like I need a little more living. I can never seem to let go. Would love to go for a long drive somewhere, find some nice town and drink an afternoon away.

Would also love to wear a suit and draw pretty girls all day like Giacometti below.




Really need to be poetic in my writing. Feeling lame

"He was waiting for some impulse, from he knew not where, to put his stopped life into motion again. " Jack London, Martin Eden

stolen from D, for she always reads better books than I. More enjoyable. I'm here reading Zizek, a Hegelian Lacanian philosopher who seems to think he can write about anything and does. And it titillates me to no good end in a way. Cept I never do it right, I never build up to these guys like philosophy students. I just heaves into it, picking one and ignoring the rest. I`m the same with my art history, I know a lot bout modernity but I`ll be damned if I could name a Corot painting. I skip movements and decades of arts with no even a side glance, banishing them to obsecurity in my mind.

I printed yesterday and realized my aquatint was superb, unlike my worry. The blanket on the other hand needed a spruce up due to printing a thousand small plates in the same spot. I later found it it just needs to be laundered, and thus should be restored. It`s a good image, should print well when I get my good inks come in.

The Erotic Show was yesterday at the Leyton Gallery. It was a good first start for that type here in the city. Some really interesting stuff, some expected stuff for an erotic show. Kent Jones was there in attendance, had some great drawings and we chatted. Told me about the blankets.
He later took Craig and I out to supper at Mexicali Rosa`s, and it was nice. Only wish I could entertain him as he entertains me with his stories.

Came back here after, though was not a lot to do last night. Eventually went home for a few drinks with C, was a bit of a gathering there by my roommates. Was okay, had some late night discussions with C.


``And no, you shouldnt have to wonder if the whole scene makes my cock hard.``
J.T.H

His words always seem like they speak true to me. Closest thing that Newfoundland will ever get to a Bukowski, and to that, maybe he falls a little short. But who cares. Only me in my idolizing. It`s just funny when you look back in hindsight and the divergent paths that happen. I could have a skin of red leather, eyes always in squint and hands that could polish pans. Its not too hard to imagine seeing the town, seeing the lines in the family. Seeing the lines in an uncle`s face.
Would just been another in a history of haulers and workhorses, with maybe a knack to get down on paper what I see.
Yet I`m not. I don`t know if those moments were decided by me, or decided my the parents, or who the fuck. It just never happened. I've only rode on a quad once, first time on the ocean was in Nova Scotia, and that's that; a hangashore most certainly. An outsider for a long time now, and it don't seem to be changing.

Trying to restore myself, I am feeling slightly better. The swagger still isn't there though it has been a better week. Had some great visits from my brother and my friend, and visiting some friends, which cheered me up. A job interview which went well, leading to my prospects cheering up.

It is at a call centre, and the pay is good. Would definitively help my financial situation a lot, and my moods. Like economics drag me down faster than undertow. At the restaurant I have been cut to 15 hours of work after being promised much more, full time plus even. So while I disliked the work there, and appreciate the extra time for my art, this mofo needs to pay the bills.

My artwork is going well, though I am afraid I fucked up my aquatint tonight due to not having feathers for the etching. I shouldn't of attempted it without the feathers, but ever the impatient one. I think this is why my plates have been coming off over wiped looking, not over wiped but perhaps the aquatint isn't deep enough. I really hope not, but got a sneaking suspicison. They look right but not totally sure. Never going to be an aquatint master like David Blackwood this way. [Hoping to get to meet him this month.]

Tryng to get through this book of Zizek conversations and theories, but never finding time for it. I'm enjoying it but just find it hard dedicating some time to it.

My exhibition at St. Michael's is now in April, which is a good time for it - lots of traffic, spring in the air - and it gives me more time to prepare for it. Got a few three dimensional pieces in back of head. Going to fill that gallery space, show everyone what they have to catch up to. Just got to watch those aquatints.

"If I were dressing you for Halloween, I would be inclined to draw on the inspiration of those old fairy tales that feature the theme of restoration: like the prince who, because of a curse, has lived for years as a frog, only to be returned to his rightful body and role through the kiss of a merciful soul;..."
Rob Brezsny, Free Will Astrology

So I am depressed, not too hard to figure out. I made a choice to focus on my art, to be at the print shop all the time. I've spurned social contacts and activities to be at my work, I've did this purposely; wanting to show that I am an artist, to prove people wrong. Some people wondered if I was going to waste the scholarship, just take off, etc. Maybe some even though I didn't deserve it. Spite is a motivation, just as much as wanting to be successful. I wanted to show people up, and show people my mettle.

It wears on one though, and thus I feel depressed.
1) Could be the season, that does happen in this transition periods.
2) Could be the shitty job I'm working at as a dishwasher [ yes, I'm lucky to have a job, but damn, lumpen proletariat doesn't inspire happiness].
3)Economics has always been tied to my moods, but it will take some psychotherapy sessions and a financial consultant to figure those problems out. Sometimes I yearn for my friends, or somebody, to go out. Then I realize I have 5 dollas to my name, and going out is not an option.
4) I have lived with my best friends for four years together, always had a girlfriend close by. Now, everything is spread apart, missing. The girl I started seeing has decided not to see me, not that it was going well, but thats gone. I swear if I didn't have the guys at the shop to talk to, be worse off again.

I try to blame it on the art, but it isn't that. The art is going well, making some great prints and exploring interesting themes. My descison to ignore people over my art, well, maybe that should of been more balanced. I wanted to be the hermit, the dedicated artist, wanted that aura about me. I fall for myths as much as anyone.
However I feel slightly overwhelmed by all these issues, I'm down, and as much as I do" being down" well, I need to get out of this. I need my swagger back. Just how? I still want to pursue my art, dislike it when I can't. That's truth there. I don't want to work some shitty job, but I know saying that is riduculous, better artists than I have done so. So many variables as listed above, though relieving one would help I'm sure.

I have been up to a bit in six weeks, crossed the island twice, trip to Corner Brook, trip to Englee for Thanksgiving. Three weeks of unemployment where I made a nice bit of art. The art making is on a good pace, like to increase it. Seen another artist who worked at the show, made more prints than I have in this time period. To paraphrase Larry Rivers, jealousy is as legitimate a form of motivation as anything else.

Working on some etchings and lithographs mostly, been wanting to draw and paint at times. Get around to it eventually. I have started a side project; a chapbook with a friend. Would like to work on a series of painting based on imagery from MMA and UFC fighters, the dynamicism and action would make great paintings I think. Would tie in to my interest male sexuality and issues, along with interest in violence.

That's it for now.

So I have done this before and while I may not always achieve everything I have put on these lists, it does allow me to focus a little more. Goals and projects change over time as do values and so forth, nothing is set in stone. That's why I type them on the internet, allowing me to edit them at will!!

1) My first goal is to continue making more prints at St. Michael's. I would like to accumulate a good body of work from there. Would like to make the goal of six editions. It's easy to make six prints, it's the editioning that gets tricky.

2) Drawing. I would like to draw more, just sole drawing, least once a week achieve a good drawing or small series.

3) Read a little theory once a week, then kick it to the back of the brain.

4) Get my comic book with Paul Muller photocopied and out there.

5) Assemble my portfolio, get good documentation of it.

6) Bookwork started.

seven) Do something with my Chuck Norris Journal

8)Save up money for traveling and such

9)?

10) ?

11)

I woke up and was tired, been tired from the get go. Last night's escapades at a studio party didn't help, but was fun and awesome. Though I will say I felt self conscious at times; I suppose it is just because I don't know these people well enough yet and I am not yet comfortable with them. I get anxious and come off too strongly, too wired up. It just takes time really, it has always taken time for me and other people to gel.

It was a good weekend of art openings and chatting with people. The new A1C Gallery had an opening which was really nice, it was called "Rock Can Roll" and was of contemporary Newfoundland artists. I really enjoy the space there, very intimate and cozy, it has a character beyond the white cube of most spaces.
Eastern Edge Gallery had an opening as well, and that was of Kym Greeley's show "TCH", another artist Scott Rogers arrives today to install his work in the gallery. It's a two person show, but he couldn't make it in time. Kym's work was great, looked really well in the space and she had a little picnic in the space. Everything was just right for the show.

In terms of work I have been a little slower this week, slower i the sense I didn't get at anything since Monday or Tuesday. Just really debating what to be doing for a while. The problem that causes that is I act like I don't have forever to make my art so I debate which piece to do first. I have many ideas, but end up trying to figure what to do next. When really, I have alot of art making ahead of me and should just work on what ever is available. So silly sometimes.

So tonight I am working on a intaglio plate. I just finished etching it and will probably go do an aquatint on it next along with some drypoint. Been looking at some soft ground possiblities for another plate or maybe a soap resist on an aquatint. The "drip" look of the soap resist is very neat.

Beyond that, there hasn't been a whole lot of going on. I hope to have the day off tomorrow so I can print all day in the shop. That would be swell.

What drives me as an artist is that I think everyone is unique, yet everyone disappears so quickly. "

Christian Boltanski

This was the Top Eleven list of things I wanted to do the summer. Since summer is over, I figure I would review what I have done.

1: Make lots of prints at St.Michaels' this summer - been doing okay, wasa slow period for a while as I got used to St. Johns and working. I seem to be doing a lot more now

2: Make a piece of furniture [preferably] or something under the brand "Team Shake N' Bake" with brudder. - Not done, failed there. Lack of a lot of things

3: Drink a Booster Juice once a week - sometimes more!

4: four drawings once a week, despite any odds - this had its variables, and I think I have focused my time into my printmaking

5: Through communication with others, engage in art work producing capabilities through the mail with bon amis. - not done there

6: Get an ordinateur- preferably a Mac - nope

7: Do some video work - nope

8: Write a short story or perhaps some poetry, and better not be flakey. - nope, just this flakey blog

9: Find a way to Berlin, hang out with the harlow trip peeps and meet beautiful german girls - just a dream there

10: Go on a living spree, party like a skeet skeet muthafucker - a few times; not as wild or much as maybe needed

11:... make sure my apartment doesn't turn out like this - my apartment is pretty cool now, better than the other place.

So now I should come up with a list of Top Eleven Things for the Fall season to be chasing after.

Get By - Tali Kweli, playing in the room. Rap is the only uplifting music I have lately. The heavy music is good for these times too, but I'm unable to crush my enemies under my war hammer; thus viking metal lacks. So its rap. Trying to learn to hustle.

Unsure if I am going to be at Eastern Edge Gallery after September 5th, awaiting notification on funding and bureaucracy turns so slowly. So applying to a few new jobs this week as well as looking for a new apartment. Trying to keep the costs on the down side, but damn Holmes, seems impossible.
Feeling so restless as well. I hate the thought of signing a lease. Something that is keeping me in place. I don't want to have to give notice or frig around if I want to go. On the other hand though, this everything being up in the air does not lend itself to enjoyment. I'm lost and unsure what direction to follow. As I said before, it really goes with the current art work.

The new lithograph print is going well as far as I can tell, I was working at it for another few hours tonight after work. Really shaping up n getting the hang of the maniere noire technique. At least as far as I know - I'll be asking Mike tomorrow about it. Hoping to do the first etch on it tomorrow. Printing maybe Thursday or Saturday, would like to print while Mike is around. Not that familar with litho just yet to be totally comfortable printing this different technique.

Would love to have a whole month free just to print all day. I regret the times I had close to that and never had any ideas. That' the way it goes. September is shaping up to be quite good with the visiting artist Colin Lyons coming to St. Michael's. That ould be a great month to have no work to go to. Which I might yet. HaHa

Maniere Noire lithography is tedious and ardous. That is probably a very self evident statement to anyone who has done printmaking, particularly anyone who has done such technique in intaglio as in a mezzotint [ which is even more tedious and ardous].

But it is going good so far, I have been here since 3:30ish and have been scratching away at the stone. I would say maybe half of the scratching I need to do is done, and is helping me learn how to do it. I very sharp exacto knife is the best thing I have learned so far. Ha! I think it will look good when printed, and the technique will be made good use of.

The stomach grumbles despite sunday dinner today, and I am not totally wanting to catch the next bus home yet at 8:30. Especially when there is nothing to do at the apartment, nar uncluttered space to draw too or such. All my stuff is packed up and stored about my room; figured I would just have to repack in again this week or next.

I have to go to Blue Cross early tomorrow morning to get a reimbursement for my new glasses. This week will be a tight week, the account suffered a lot last week: bills, eating out due to work, gallery events, glasses, etc. I do get paid this Friday, so I hope to make it till then.

I'm home for the weekend, and got up noon [ Bukowski said it will add years on to your life, rising at noon]. Did a few things round the house, and went out into the shed to try and do some painting. I wanted to oil paint, but had not the time for it; so using acrylics, tole paint ones. Which is fine with me. The problem I am thinking is that I am using some of the cheap canvas. The question that arose as I painted, not liking the canvas board texture is "Why use canvas at all?". I prefer using paper, find cardboard nice to paint on, so why wasn't I using it?

Why should I cater to this precious object mentality, when I prefer cardboard for acrylic painting. I wouldn't use oils on them, just bleeds too much.

Maybe just realizing as well that things are getting tight, I can't afford to spend all this money on suppilies like I felt I could at art school. In art school, economics aren't suppose to enter the picture but out, well, a man has to eat. I think I have to reevaluate my art practice. Fiugre out what is necessary.

I'm sure that Kanye West is the only thing I listen to anymore. I can't deal with much else besides, brings up emotions I'm wanting to keep in check. This blog is getting more personal by the day, much different than the intended purpose. Than again, it's easy to open up to nobody. Nobody really reads this, so it works.

I'm at St. Michael's; it's really the only place I feel comfortable right now. Since my brother moved out, I don't have the want or real need to go home after work. I just come up here. No supper to go home for, no real need to hang around the apartment, only needed for sleeping. If I was more resourceful and inclined I'd get a tent and pitch it somewhere.

It's just interesting, that tired and slightly dragged out from the previous week I come up to St. Michael's instead of going home to nap. Probably not going to go at my print tonight, infact I think I'm going home to Carbonear. A money conservation tatic really. Maybe work on my wood cut skateboard.

Just going to hink about some things this weekend.

Maybe it's the slight exhaustion from the 24 Hour Art Marathon, which was a great success I believe, or perhaps the realization of my situation I am in now. I don't know. Not enough food? Who knows, everything I suppose. Just feel awful.

I need a place to live, for the new place fell through along with my roommate and brother having to go home. He needed to. I understand that. It just feels a little more alone in here tonight. I feel like I am drifting about now, fitting since I have been reading about Namsen, an Arctic explorer who drifted in the North Pole on the Polar current; my life and my art are never too separated.

I could go home. Always can go home. Not sure that I "can" go home though. No art will get done, or if so, only paintings. Got this print shop scholarship, and that is the art that I want to pursue. That and my drawings.

I just want to be in a position to make my art. Its all I want. As long as I make my art it will distract me from everything else. Make everything easier. It is interesting the sacrifices that artists make, especially economic ones, to pursue their art. Of course, as Ernest Beckett says that artists create so that they can make sense of the world. I guess if I did not sacrifice for art, I would be pending the money on psychology treatments.

I see a slight plan happening, forming in the back of the mind.

I forgot to write last night that I finished two more editions the week. On Wednesday I printed my lithography stone, with it rolling up well and printing fine. Had a little problem with the ink at first, using a stiffer ink -shop black ink- where I should of used crayon black. The shop black gave me problems on my palette, but the print shop director came over and fixed the problem for me.

He also told me I was using too much water on my stone, no need to see beads of water on it, no need to wring water out on it. I think that helped a lot too, allows for less transfer of water to the ink palette [ which gets messy] and allows for quicker sponging.

So one lithograph print was completed, I signed and numbered it Thursday night.
As well I finished an intaglio [etching, aquatint] print Thursday as well, so thats all signed as well.

Washed the image out of my stone, so hoping to get graining after the art marathon week. I have a bit of blank metal plate that would be for a larger size etching.

It's going to be a busy week coming up. The 24 Hour art marathon activities start Tuesday for me, and volunteers, and then our big launch is Wednesday with Annie Sprinkle at the Rockhouse, artist's talks and cocktails Thursday, getting everything ready for the marathon Friday, and then the marathon Saturday. That's a good 24 hours straight gig, with almost a hundred artists and probably 300 people coming through, over 20 bands and performers, numerous workshops, along with a bar and feeding people. I do pretty good in those situations, I just work and keep my head on a swivel. The 24 hours up awake, I haven't been able to do that in a long time. Have to see about that. Redbull? Yis!

Also having to move this week, so will have to pack up tomorrow night and getting stuff ready for that. i will be working all week and night, so Adam and the parents will have to help with that. Real bum thing to be happening, but that's it. Having problems with the guy I am sub-leasing from, but will straighten that out the week too.

As for art, well, I guess it isn't going to happen this week at all. I have been on a really good schedule lately, and hate that it will be interrupted; mostly because it is difficult getting back on it. I have a lot planned, there are many ideas floating round that I would like to get down soon. what also worries me about my art making is after the marathon, I have to start looking for new employment. That will be another interruption in that I will have to find a new job, and I really don't think there is much available. Actually, there is very little available.
The print shop scholarship is an excellent opportunity and I want to make the most out of it. Yet I feel I may have to move away to make some money, least better money. I know one to make art has to do jobs to survive, to be creative enough to make money, to just do it. I have enough phrases and words of wisdom in my head, enough to write a platonic dialogue of my own about it. Doesn't mean I think I can work at a fast food joint. Maybe something will come up, but just very nervous about the fall and the upcoming weeks.

To do a large scale three dimensional rubbing of a shed, which is then reconstructed through the hanging of the sheets of paper. The reconstruction is lit from the inside; illuminating the paper and creating an object that has a spectral quality about it.

Detailed description:

The idea is to capture the nuances and details of a shed on my family property. The shed was built by my grandfather, a carpenter, all by his own hand. I would use large sheets of paper and do a rubbing of each side of the shed, including the roof. This would done all by my hand, using graphite sticks and pencils. Copied in materials more natural to me.

By doing a rubbing of the surface of the shed, I would be creating an inverse image of the shed. The paper would be hung, reconstructing the dimenisons of the shed: being _ _______. The paper would be supported by a wooden frame of the shed, fastening at the top. This would give a wavering quality to the work according to the environment conditions i.e: people walking past.The structure would be lit from the inside by a small work light hanging down in the shed, the light would illuminate the the negative spaces created through the rubbing process. This would contrast against the dark grey of the graphite.

This project is a continuation of my current investigations in drawing and printmaking. I am drawing but I am also capturing the imprint of the surface - like a collograph or relief print. I am constructing my own shed, reproducing some of the same motions that my grandfather would have; becoming a print myself in a sense. It touches on the concept of a film negative as well though it it is not something actively pursued.

My current art has been focusing on 'small memories' of objects, memories that an object accumulate, common objects that many people can have a connection to. With this there is always the issue of lost and a sense of mourning, this goes from the personal to the larger population that many Atlantic Canadians have a familial connection to a shed. A sense of place definitely plays into the work, it is a product of its environment and is commonplace in the area. The use of paper will convey the fragility of these memories, a sense of impermanence that is associated with memory. The graphite would capture the exterior of the building, allowing for the traces of aging and weather. The inverse image created by rubbing would be related to the memories associated with the shed along with the illumination of the small light bulb.

This work references the art of Do-Ho Suh, and Rachel Whiteread as well as the art of Ed Pien. Do-Ho Suh and Rachel Whiteread both investigate space and the sense of place in their work along with concepts of memory and loss. Where as Pien has influence my practice in the sense of drawing and installation, by showing the intimacy that drawing can have and the way the material can be used beyond a support for a drawing.

That's what the article was called in Art on Paper magazine. I picked it up today at chapters, running into an artist I've met here in St. Johns, we discussed art as we meandered around the store. He admits to being very much a formalist, so was interesting discussion.

The article, was kinda fun to read in some of the entries; Terrance Koh seems to manifest himself in the same manner as he does his art- a bit of coke. Some others were interesting, how some of the same doubts affect I'm having still find themselves in artists of semi-establishment. I have been thinking a lot on my career as an artist, or least my start of a career. These questions seem to be getting round, my bro-bot, is experiencing similar issues on what to do with himself. Might just be the plight of a generation really.
So what do I do with myself, I'm finding out that I'm not terribly good at administrative tasks from working at Eastern Edge. It is a good learning experience there, and very appreciative for it. My problem with it I just don't know how to excel in the situation or environment. Getting a lot of sponsorships and donations seem to be one way. But to me it seem that some of it is just luck of the draw, you get responsive people and other times you don't. There doesn't seem to be a method of leading there, is there any way of leading in administrative tasks besides just doing your work promptly and on time? There does seem to be a large amount of adminstration in the art world, so one does have to get better at it.
The job ends in September, and I really don't know what I'm doing. I might score some Joe Job, which from what I'm seeing is the best I can hope for. That will be minimum wage, and will suck. I can't afford to live on just minimum wage. There might be an opportunity in Grenfell in October at the gallery there, but then that will be for quite a few months and I would be leaving my bro-bot in a lurch along with leaving on the Don Wight Scholarship at St. Michael's. The opportunity at Grenfell would be decent dollars. Yet leaving St. Michael's would be wasting good time at the shop making art. Assuming my Joe Job gave me enough time to do so. The opportunity might not even arise, so should shut up about it.

I am applying for the NLAC grants in September, working on the grant proposal; that would be the Shed project. I'm ordering some inks Monday with some people at the shop in preparation for the print and drawing project I'm working on. Reading about the John Franklin Expedition for the North West Passage today. I, as said before got to start work on that soon, yet in defense I find the literature really exciting. Though in terms of concept it seems to be approaching the "About 1865" project that Tony Scherman worked on. He did a series of encaustic paintings based on the events of the American Civil War. Beautiful paintings, though not positive on the conceptual perimeters. Anything as a starting point perhaps?

I finished my editon Saturday, dated them, and signed them. Still have yet to get a picture, but will soon.

So I have been printing a lot this week, and finally got one of my editions done. I have to tear the paper tomorrow [mostly because of not using a guide for laying paper down and eyeballing it] and sign, date, and register them at St. Micheal's. Then finally the printshop chop.

Started wiping two other plates this week as well. I'll be printing my lithograph tomorrow. Ordering some colour print inks this upcoming week, for both etching and lithography. Ordering your own inks make you realize how good you had it in school.

Borrowed a few books from the library, one is Jim Dine Prints 1970 - 1977 which is a decent catalog of works of his during that period. I would like to do a homage to one of his works, a slight updating of his etchings called "Four Kinds of Pubic Hair". They are definitely a product of the time, so I would like to do a contemporary version. A landing stripe perhaps. I'll get a scan of he etchings in question, and post soon. The book has a very good interview with him as well, and offers some insight into his work.

The other book I'm reading now is The North Pole: A Narrative History edited by Anthony Brandt. It's published by National Geographic. It has excerpts from selected Northern explorers from their diaries, book, etc. Should be good for my current research and art project. I really got to get producing more work on it as well, before I get bogged down and the excitement dies.

The relief woodblock prints I had started on some skateboards got a little shot at tonight. An artist Dennis McNett who is interviewed on Fecal Face and is also a printmaking professor in New York had done some. Not sure if he printed them or just carved, but takes a little originality out of my idea. Still going to continue it, for I'm playing with some other elements of the skateboard as well.

That' it for now, been a long day. Listening to Daft Punk's Something About Us Video. Certain people in my head.

Always act fool fool, looking slightly uncool cool.

Been a quick week, lots of goings on at Eastern Edge Gallery, getting ready for the 24 hour art marathon. Like it when we're busy. Got a really good team there. I do wonder if I'm getting enough vitamins however, because i am so tired after work. Probably been eating healthier than I have ever. Maybe the heat?

Still working on my editioning of my etching, up to nine or ten, need two more I think. Then I have to print my litho. Get that over with. I have some new ideas to get on to. Wish I had some assistants sometimes, gotten a lot of ideas lately just not enough time to get them all done. Got to remember I got the rest of my life, been told that the weekend. Got to keep it in mind.

There has been a visiting artist from Ireland this month at St. Michael's, Gemma Anderson, and she did a workshop this weekend. It was on line etching and doing multpile colours on a plate. She also showed us how to smoke a plate using a flame on a hard ground. Great old fashion pintmaking technique, not used very much anymore. I was the assistant during the workshop, which was good. Got to participate in etching a plate as well; a small 4" x6" zinc plate. I proofed it today, decided it needed a little more work.
There was a little reception afterwards for work of Gemmas and her partner Sam Douglas had in the St. Michaels gallery. Was fun, met some new people, little drink, was good. The old Jonathan was back briefly, schmoozing.haha.

The plans for this week is to finish the edition of my etching. There is also the matter of the lithograph, which should take 3 or 4 hours. I have three other etchings that I should print as well. Trying to overestimate myself here, there is always my perchance for laziness or being tired. Hopefully a litho stone will be grained as well.

Despite all this work, it has been a confusing time. Lots of thoughts on what to do for the future, what goals do I have, what should be my new dreams be, do I have any new dreams? I have ideas for new bodies of work, but thats about it. No new job options or plans for September. I looked at school again, even looked at getting a trade lik welding or carpentry. Thought I could apply it to art in the future and I could. However it is really just a comfort thing- go back to school-safe there and in the familar learning environment- not dealing with the real world yet. As I said above, i'm just acting a fool. Don't even know if I should stay in St. Johns or not, I feel I shouldn't, but why? I wouldn't be able to answer you. Can I live in the moment? Just enjoyin the floating about. Why do I have to set a course so early?

I jut want to be a baller...

To do a large scale three dimensional rubbing of a shed, which is then reconstructed through the hanging of the sheets of paper. The reconstruction is lit from the inside; illuminating the paper and creating an object that has a spectral quality about it. This project is in response to death and mourning, and the

This work is inspired by the art of Do-Ho Suh, and Rachel Whiteread. Though I also feel it comes out of the work I have pursued the previous year as well as my printmaking knowledge.

Detailed description:

The idea is to capture the nuances and details of a shed on my family property. The shed was built by my grandfather, all by his own hand. I would use large sheets of thin asian paper and do a rubbing of each side of the shed, including the roof. This would done all by my hand, using graphite sticks. The measurements would be :
By doing a rubbing of the surface of the shed, I would be creating a negative or inverse image of the shed. This would be related to the memories associated with the shed [ unsure of this]. The sheets would be hung, reconstructing the spatial area of the shed. The sheets would hang loosely from the top support through cable/string[?], giving a wavering quality to the work according to the environment conditions i.e: people walking past.
The structure would be lit from the inside by a LED light, the light would illuminate the the negative spaces created through the rubbing process. This would contrast against the dark grey of the graphite.

This is the first draft of this, so please comment and give me any criticism or advice.

I wish I was feelin like a pimp, but over wiped my plate tonight. Not too happy about that Should of done it in good light, instead of acting a fool in the dark. Just haven't been thinking straight. End up wasting a piece of paper. It always comes down to the economics. Got to keep my mind sharp, can't be looking a chump to people.

Keep feeling like i got to reinvigorate myself, change some habits; learning and thinking a lot this summer, new perspective on a lot of things. Especially the art scene. Least here.

This caught my eye recently, The World's Smallest Art Fair. It's a neat idea, a simple concept but wors.

A update of my whereabouts lately:

Been workin at Easter Edge Gallery, trying to get the 24H.A.M up and on the roll.

Printing when I can get off my lazy arse at St. Michael's Printshop. Currently in the process of editioning an etching, one of my rocket images. Not sure what the edition number will be, 13 or 15 seems a good number, currently on number 5.
I've had a lithograph hanging round as well, needing to be printed. Got to get that it printed soon, so I can get on to another one. Have a few ideas churning. The edition number will that will probably be the same as above.
Been currently debating the idea of editioning as well. Not sure if I like the justification of it. Editioning is for primarily economic concerns really, all goes back to it, ensuring its limited and rare, can ask for more money. So really unsure if I agree with it, goes againest some marxist tendacies of mine.

Drawing as well, some rockets and a new project. The new project deals with using the history and imagery of the North Pole Explorers. Manliplating history, maps, imagery, text, etc to reflect my own personal exploration. Inspired by Jane Urqharts book "The Underpainter", a quote found in it.

Besides that, I have another project in mind, which I will be writing a NLAC proposal for. Hopefully I get it, would be really swell. Probably will be hammering out the idea a bit on here. Send it to my homies, get their opinion on it.

Also reading Terry Eagleton's "After Theory", which is a realy interesting read. That will be followed by some Zizek.

Outside of that, I do waste a lot of time napping like a fiend in the heat, watching Seinfeld, surfing the internet way too long. Like now. Identified that I have a addiction to caffine, particularly coke. Got headaches from now having it all day.

Anyway, that's it.

So I got the job at Eastern Edge Gallery as 24 Hour Art Marathon Coordinator. I started the 15th of May with Amanda, who is also from Grenfell. I have been working there for two weeks now and as been a great job so far. I worked 10 - 5pm, Monday to Friday. Our job is to basically organize the 24 Hour Art Marathon, Eastern Edge Gallery's premier funding event and one of the bigger art events in the city. It happens on August 16th, at noon and continues for 24 hours to noon the next day. Artists and other creators create art for 24 hours, after which the art is auctioned off in a silent auction, with half of which return to the artist. There is also performers, musician, bands, buskers, etc at the event as well. There is a lot to organize for this event, a lot of people to contact, get donations and sponsors, just a lot to do. Bit of weight on the shoulders to make it a great event. Do have th reputation of having fire fighters come to a party in Grenfell, amongst other things.

Since starting my job at Easter Edge I have also been spending my time at St. Michael's Printshop trying to make prints. I received the Don Wight Memorial Scholarship from St. Michael's this year, which consists of a year residency at the printshop, as well as materials and a honorarium. Aso get to sit in on the visiting artist' workshops for free as well, and there are some great visiting artist this summer. So far I have been working on a drypoint, as well as print some etchings and I just did a roll up on a lithograph have been working on. Trying to take advantage of the printshop as much as possible, conceiving of it as my "studio" for the next year. The more work I can make there the better.

That has been the past two weeks really for me, haven't been going out that much, though will say I am not a shut in either. I recently saw the Nan Loves Jerry play at th LSPU Hall with my brother and Rory, and the recent Rooms show of Don Wight. That was an awesome show, one of the best shows I have seen in a while.

I'll try to update this more, hoping to have a lot to fill it with.

"And sometime around 2 AM you end up taking advantage of yourself. Ain't no way around that. Making a scene with a magazine."

Tom Waits, Nighthawks at the Diner 1975

And sometimes around 2 weeks you end up taking advantage of yourself and others. Ain't no way around that. making a scene with an art magazine

It's 2am, I'll probably be up for another two hours, if not more. Been reading Ralph Steadman's The Joke's Over, a book about him and his relationship as artist to Hunter S. Thompson, and Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil. Two madman perhaps. Also been reading the latest Border Crossing, a Canadian art magazine, fuck, been reading all the copies I have of Border Crossing. Looking for something, finding tons of things, I have everything really; some talent and skill, a decent enough mind, paper, supplies, even some ideas and sketches for Goya's sake, no distractions of girls or drinkin' distractions [though I'd love a little bit of both...], and the only things against that are few. Lack of space and no courage.
And I do have a lack of space, I don't have the grandiose space of the fourth year space in school. I got a wall in the bedroom for drawing and a small space out in the shed for painting or wood. The weather affects the shed, and it has been miserable. The room wall works though.

I just don't have the courage to draw or make art here. I have before, the summer past, but for some reason I don't want to do stuff in front of the folks. Have always been private around them, but as my art gets more introspective at times, I don't want to explain it to them. Shit, I don't want to explain anything. Isn't that lame? The being inside all day does not help either, this cabin fever. And without that courage to explain, or least lie, I can't draw. Can't draw without courage, won't be art, be demoralizing to use Nietzsche even. Would bring about the downturn or further downturn of humanity. It's an unfortunate excuse, but it the excuse.
Have all this talk about changing my ways in the previous post, but am I? I don't sleep at night because when I lie down, with nothing distracting, all the baggage enters, all the questions and worries.
Listening to Kanye helps, but not enough.

"despite any odds"...

Been letting the odds stack against me, and can't say I have done anything to stop them. Just complain about it really, let it keep me lazing round the house all day. I know it has only been two weeks since I left Corner Brook, but just as well be a month or three, it feels like that. No one has been really doing much else, but that hardly consoles me. I complain about the lack of space here, because I don't have a studio, I don't have a room of ones own; a place I can close the door and keep it close so no one looks in. I am having a problem even getting something to draw, a lack of inspiration that many artists would scoff at. Inspiration? The rest of come in here and work from 9-5 everyday, to paraphrase Chuck Close. And he's almost a quadriplegic.

In one sense, I think I put a few bodies of work out this past year in school. They're not done, but maybe done for now. Not sure what to do next. I have said I think I need to "live" a little, need something to make art about. But "live" how? Go on an adventure? Maybe it's me, but adventure seem to need least a little cash. Maybe thats an excuse from the non-adventuring type. I don't know. Really, I have no idea what I meant by "live". A cliche I grabbed really. I would say Bukowski "lived", but all he did was drink, hang with whores and freaks, etc. Cohen did the same, in his own sense, really very few of the writers and artists I admire have really done anything besides their normal living. They just used it better.

A change of pace is good in one sense, and I am moving to St. Johns, but is that much a change? Lived there last summer, went to school, interned at St. M's, but really didn't do a whole lot different than what I'm doing now. Never made any good art. Not really sure when I'll get a real external change, I'll apply for some things and see what happens there. Got to get some things in order for that.
There is internal change, and I have always thought that is a way to things. The problem is of course what to change, perhaps the outlook, think outside the box, or take a knife to the box and cut it to pieces.

Got change something here, get a solution to something, I don't enjoy my idleness as much as I should.

1: Make lots of prints at St.Michaels' this summer

2: Make a piece of furniture [preferably] or something under the brand "Team Shake N' Bake" with brudder

3: Drink a Booster Juice once a week

4: four drawings once a week, despite any odds

5: Through communication with others, engage in art work producing through the mail with bon amis

6: Get an ordinateur- preferably a Mac

7: Do some video work

8: Write a short story or perhaps some poetry, and try not make it flakey

9: Was going to try to get to Berlin, but maybe somewhere closer would be better, or maybe find a way to make a collapsible shed

10: Go on a living spree, party like a skeet skeet muthafucker

I am home. I am graduated. I am bored. I don't know what to do. I am looking for a job. I am thinking about art. I don't have any space for said thoughts about art. I ate Mary Brown's tonight and I am sick. I am not depressed. I am confused. I check Facebook way too much. I have nothing to read. I dislike the wind here though I missed it but a few months ago. I have thought about making the switch to the third person, but don't think that works for Jonathan. I miss people. I am mostly confused however.

It's only been a week, and I can not expect opportunities to fall in my lap right away; I am aware of that. One week is a small length of time. It's just that I find ti hard adjusting to not having somewhere to go everyday, something to do, the same people around me. I sometimes think that like animals, humans are creatures of habit. I feel I am one, least at this moment. I come home, and I can't get used to having nothing to do. I reread old magazines, books, go back and forth to the internet, watch tee vee I haven't seen in ages, but nothing interests me. I don't know if others are feeling this, some people go to better or different situations than I. Maybe worse. I don't know for certain.

I am unsure why I write this here, first time I really let personal experience into the blog, mostly it has been focused on my art making or things that do with my art making. Maybe this has to do with my art making. Been getting ever more personal in the making.

There are a lot of questions about my immediate plans, what am I going to do, etc. I dislike those questions. I ever ask people that. It is not because I don't care [ well, for some people I don't] but I don't ask because it is a tough question. Plans rarely go as planned. But I will write some aforementioned plans or perhaps expectations.

I will be moving into St.Johns to live with my brother in June. That is when I have a place of residence. Before then, I do not know. I'll be in there, off and on. Everything after that depends on variables. The variable dependent list I will post next, for I know how short people's attentions spans are. I kind of steal that from Arthur Asa Berger, who wrote a book in which the chapters are composed so they can be read in 15 minute spans.

I just completed my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Visual Arts. I had my final critique this previous Tuesday, and it went very well, got some good feedback and constructive ideas on my pieces. It went by pretty quick, 45 minutes just fly by.

Just really glad to be done, and a little scared, little anixious about what's next.

Been reading a few excerpts of Andre Bazin's "Art of Cinema" last night, it is pretty interesting. There are elements of cinema I would like to try one day, that just can not be done with drawing and painting, cept perhaps in the work of William Kentridge or Jeff Wall. Still up in the head really, just another piece of info to swirl about up there

"Painting and drawing seem to me to be too closely related to the subconscious, to something that goes beyond reason. This scares me, perhaps I would say too much about myself..."

Still needs some more revising...

My work deals with the ideas of death and loss, through the use of objects, space, and narrative. I use objects that have contain small memories and history to them, and by placing them in created and often neutral spaces, to convey the larger ideas of mortality and loss. I use the medium of drawing, for it can show the sensitively and vulnerabilities of being human. It is like a slow motion version of thought, for the process of drawing can be imprecise, and uncertain. Drawing captures this by the power of it being an unmediated impression of the artists hand and mark on the surface.

My research is very intuitive and habitual, a part of my daily routine. My research is engaged in areas of art, philosophy, gender issues, sexuality, sociology, literature and an increased interest in thanatology. Death and loss factor in my research in ideas dealing with how mortality and death are dealt with in western cultures, as in issues of confronting and overcoming. Ideas on desire and death have also become an idea of note as of late, the idea that death and desire are linked.

These drawings are a continuation of the drawings from last semester, albeit indirectly, a refocusing on the topics at hand. They led me through my research to a passage from Bill Viola

“I want to go to a place that’s seems like it’s at the end of the world. A vantage point from which one can stand and peer out in to the void—the world beyond…there is nothing to lean on. No references…

You finally realize that the void is yourself. It is like some huge mirror for your mind. Clear and uncluttered, it is the opposite of our urban distractive spaces. Out here, the unbound mind can run free. Imagination reigns. Space becomes a projection screen. Inside becomes outside. You can see what you are.”

This was an inspiration point for these drawings, to use the paper as a huge mirror for my mind. The emptiness of the paper would focus the attention on the objects, and create the mood associated with the idea.

The drawings are a collection of objects, and I am extrapolating from Christian Boltanski’s idea of ‘small memory’. For Christian Boltanski ‘small memory’, is memory about little things; trivia, jokes, memories about the little things in life. [ I’ll get the exact quote for this and footnote] The objects in these drawings have memory, but only about small things, small events. These objects however can be used, with their small memories to create larger meaning and ideas through the drawings of them.

The tie clip is a response to an event in my life; the drawing brings the words meditated passion to mind. I choose this specific object because it had personal meaning to me, but I felt it could communicate to others as well by drawing it. I drew this object existing in a neutral space, an empty space, as well as the other drawings. Luc Tuymans and Toba Khedoori both use large amounts of space in their works to a feeling of isolation and emptiness in their works, Khedoori in particular uses it to create a sense of placeless-ness and acute sense of isolation. The neutral space in my drawings work the same way, however they are not totally devoid of a referent like Khedoori’s or to an extent Tuymans, my drawings have a horizon line as a indicator of space and distance.

The tie clip is an object with social and cultural meaning to it, it is an object of restraint but yet also one of flourish. The ability of restraint is also seen as part of the flourish, the ability to restrain one’s self. The ties with its phallic connections play in to this.

Drawn in a realistic manner, from life, and surrounded it by a large mass of charcoal, the item has been marked with tape so it would not interfere with the drawing of the clip. The clip is surrounded with this greyness, to create a surface around the clip that is indeterminate and imposing, to equate it with death. The tie clip exists without the tie, so there is loss and inability to function. The desire for sex is often equated for the desire of death, for death holds the promise of release from desire.

The finger trap drawing is that of a finger trap in the empty or neutral space, hovering in the space and the drawing is split through the middle by the seam of the paper. Perspective and the horizon lines exist in the top of the drawing.

This object of the finger trap is a trick device, where you are trapped by your fingers, and when you try to haul or pull yourself out of, you only get more trapped, the trap tightens. The only way out is to push further in, and let go. The finger trap is made of pieces of bamboo, braided together; bamboo is often seen as a symbol of longevity as well as the twisting and twining in of braiding. The finger trap is a joke, not intended as a restraining device or such, but rather to be an example that one must think differently to escape a situation.

The split in this drawing is to change the perception of the drawing, an interruption of the braid, the linking of the finger trap. To escape the finger trap, one must push their fingers to the centre. If the finger trap is split in the drawing, can one escape when there is no centre to push to? Is one really trapped? So by giving the split, one can see the finger trap as complete or not.

The drawing of the hammer head is drawn in the upper half of the sheet, to place it close to the horizon line and give it a good expense of space.

The hammer head is a found object, was found with no handle. In a way it is decapitated, and remain useless. The head is still good, but it needs a new body, handle to work. I invested it with small, localized narrative through the use of the shadow; the shadow alludes to the missing handle, like the shadow of the handle had been burned in to the image, still there. The hammer head is scratched, and pitted from the activity of work. It is not the shiny new hammer of a store, but one with a history. By the look of the hammer, the lack of the handle and the shadow, along with its position on its side, all work to give the impression of the hammer head being dead.
The horizon line is included in all of the drawings, dividing the empty space up and giving ideas of distance and space. However this is all relative, for the space could be essentially a table top or a soccer field, there is nothing in the drawing to give accurate scale. This relates back to the Bill Viola quote stated above. The horizon line is also used for its placement of the vanishing points, which indicate where all things must go. An idea of Nietzsche also figures in to my including of the horizon line.

The tie clip is a response to an event in my life; the drawing bring the words meditated passion to mind. I choose this specific object because it had personal meaning to me, but I felt it could communicate to others as well by drawing it. I drew this object existing in a neutral space, perhaps more of an empty space to me. I divided this space with the use of a horizon line, and perspective lines.

The tie clip is an object with social and cultural meaning to it, it is an object of restraint but yet also one of flourish. The ability of restraint is also seen as part of the flourish, the ability to restrain one’s self. The ties with its phallic connections play in to this.

Drawn in a realistic manner, from life, and surrounded it by a large mass of charcoal, the item has been marked with tape so it would not interfere with the drawing of the clip. The clip is surrounded with this greyness, to create a surface around the clip that is indeterminate and imposing, to equate it with death. The tie clip exists without the tie, so there is loss and inability to function. The desire for death is often equated for the desire of sex, and

I have the object with perspective lines going from it to two vanishing points, the perspective lines do not match up to the object and are done so really to just acknowledge the vanishing points.

The finger trap drawing is that of a finger trap in the empty or neutral space, hovering in the space and the drawing is split through the middle by the seam of the paper. Perspective and the horizon lines exist in the top of the drawing.

This object of the finger trap is a trick device, where you are trapped by your fingers, and when you try to haul or pull yourself out of, you only get more trapped, the trap tightens. The only way out is to push further in, and let go. The finger trap is made of pieces of bamboo, braided together; bamboo is often seen as a symbol of longevity. The split acts in this case as

The finger trap is a joke, not intended as a restraining device or such. It is an example of how one cannot escape something through

The next drawing is that of welding goggles, surrounded by space and the goggles are split by the connection of the paper. On one side of the paper split, the lens is cracked. There is a slight shadow in front of the lens.

This object has industrial context in that it is used for protection from the bright light of metal cutting. They protect you from seeing the light. One of the lenses is cracked, which would allow some light to get in. This object also appears in post apocalyptic media often as a fashion object. What I was trying to do with the paper split here is show the object in it’s entirely, but showing a shift in the perception of it. By being broken on one side, and on the other side of the split, the perception of the object and its meaning is changed.

The drawing of the hammer head is drawn in the upper half of the sheet, with a long light grey shadow coming from it downwards, and perspective lines leading to a vanishing point.

The hammer head is a found object, was found with no handles. In a way it is decapitated, and remain useless. All it takes is a new handle, but till then it just lays there. Invest it with small, localized narrative through the use of the shadow and the perspective lines.

The drawing of the arctic explorers (incomplete) is that of a drawing in space, horizon and perspective lines in the space around it. This image is that of five explorers at what they thought was the North Pole, from the Peary Expedition. The drawing is erased; some of the explorers are erased as well as some of their surroundings.

This image is a found image, that I used for it reminded me a quote from the book The Underpainter by Jane Urquhart. To paraphrase, a character mentioned his “own interior Arctic”. I wonder whether it was easier to cross the real Arctic or one’s own, do you think you reach your destination when like Peary’s you are a ways off still. The drawing of the image shows loss through the selective erasure of the elements in it.

I approach my drawings, by finding an object or found imagery, and through drawing process to invest it with meaning. The objects and imagery have personal connections to me, whether they be a part of my life, were a part, or come from an area of interest.

Just trying to get some stuff online, instead of on different computers and on jump drives. Co-ordination and synchronization are differcult at time.
This is myprint proposal for the St.Michael's Scholarship


Print Proposal

My print proposal consists of a series of ten prints done in lithography and intaglio media. Six prints of this series will be of an intimate scale, using the smaller stones and smaller intaglio plates. The rest of the prints will be large scale, through using prints off the smaller stones and combining them as parts to make one large size. The other large scale prints will be engaging St. Michael's larger stones along with large intaglio print done by utilizing aluminum etching. The support will be paper and canvas. The interest in the larger prints is because of the impact that scale can have, and will contrast against the intimacy of the smaller prints. Lithography and intaglio are chosen because of their mark making abilities, and their proximity to drawing for me.

The prints will be continuing the exploration of the rocket as an image to communicate ideas of mortality, violence and exploration. The rocket images will be based in landscape, that make use of dystopian and apocalyptic elements, modernist symbols of progress, pop culture, television, comic books and graphic novels, the figure relation in space. My work is informed by artists such as Ed Pien, William Kentridge, Marcel Dzama, and Toba Khedoori, along with a background of science fiction authors and their book covers, as well as graphic novels and comic books. This subject has started in this year of my studies through drawings on paper, as well as some studies in print and I would like to continue them in print.

I, as a previous intern only this summer at the shop know the value of St. Michael’s. The co-op program between Sir Wilfred Grenfell College and St. Michaels’s has already provided great benefit to me through learning the maintenance and running of a print shop, creation of art, and through interacting with the visiting artists. The Don Wright Scholarship would be another great asset to me, as it would enable me to transition from a student to a professional practice by enabling me to pursue art after college. It will give me a chance to hone my technical skills, develop ideas, to create a body of work, to learn from the visiting artists, and networking opportunities. Mike Connolly and John McDonald even taught me how to do my first lithograph, which I am currently studying in school and showing little tips I learned from them. To receive the Don Wright Scholarship would be a great benefit to me as listed above, and I would love to work at the shop again.

He might not be my favourite artist in the world, and he definitly works in an area of interest very different than my own, but I would have to say he wuld be a good artist to hold as example. He is so very smart, and intellegent in his work, that I in a way envy him and his hardwork.

Here's a link to ashow at the MOMA

Jonathan Green
Artist Statement

My work deals with the ideas of death and loss, through the use of objects, space, and narrative. I use objects that have contain small memories and history to them, and by placing them in created and often neutral spaces, to convey the larger ideas of mortality and loss. I use the medium of drawing, for it can show the sensitively and vulnerabilities of being human. It is like a slow motion version of thought, for the process of drawing can be imprecise, and uncertain. Drawing captures this by the power of it being an unmediated impression of the artists hand and mark on the surface.

My research is very intuitive and habitual, a part of my daily routine. My research is engaged in areas of art, philosophy, gender issues, sexuality, sociology, literature and an increased interest in thanatology. Death and loss factor in my research in ideas dealing with how mortality and death are dealt with in western cultures, as in issues of confronting and overcoming. Ideas on desire and death have also become an idea of note as of late, the idea that death and desire are linked.

My current artwork has contemporary relevance in the art of Luc Tuymans, Toba Khedoori, Marcel van Eden and Michael Borremans. My art is also influenced by Nietzschean and existentialist philosophy, and many literary influences in works of fiction and poetry such as: Auster, Bukowski, Herbert, Gaiman, and Urquhart.