Letting the Odds Stack Up
Posted by Jona8than | Labels: art, in progress, life | Posted On Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 1:52 a.m.
"despite any odds"...
Been letting the odds stack against me, and can't say I have done anything to stop them. Just complain about it really, let it keep me lazing round the house all day. I know it has only been two weeks since I left Corner Brook, but just as well be a month or three, it feels like that. No one has been really doing much else, but that hardly consoles me. I complain about the lack of space here, because I don't have a studio, I don't have a room of ones own; a place I can close the door and keep it close so no one looks in. I am having a problem even getting something to draw, a lack of inspiration that many artists would scoff at. Inspiration? The rest of come in here and work from 9-5 everyday, to paraphrase Chuck Close. And he's almost a quadriplegic.
In one sense, I think I put a few bodies of work out this past year in school. They're not done, but maybe done for now. Not sure what to do next. I have said I think I need to "live" a little, need something to make art about. But "live" how? Go on an adventure? Maybe it's me, but adventure seem to need least a little cash. Maybe thats an excuse from the non-adventuring type. I don't know. Really, I have no idea what I meant by "live". A cliche I grabbed really. I would say Bukowski "lived", but all he did was drink, hang with whores and freaks, etc. Cohen did the same, in his own sense, really very few of the writers and artists I admire have really done anything besides their normal living. They just used it better.
A change of pace is good in one sense, and I am moving to St. Johns, but is that much a change? Lived there last summer, went to school, interned at St. M's, but really didn't do a whole lot different than what I'm doing now. Never made any good art. Not really sure when I'll get a real external change, I'll apply for some things and see what happens there. Got to get some things in order for that.
There is internal change, and I have always thought that is a way to things. The problem is of course what to change, perhaps the outlook, think outside the box, or take a knife to the box and cut it to pieces.
Got change something here, get a solution to something, I don't enjoy my idleness as much as I should.
Been letting the odds stack against me, and can't say I have done anything to stop them. Just complain about it really, let it keep me lazing round the house all day. I know it has only been two weeks since I left Corner Brook, but just as well be a month or three, it feels like that. No one has been really doing much else, but that hardly consoles me. I complain about the lack of space here, because I don't have a studio, I don't have a room of ones own; a place I can close the door and keep it close so no one looks in. I am having a problem even getting something to draw, a lack of inspiration that many artists would scoff at. Inspiration? The rest of come in here and work from 9-5 everyday, to paraphrase Chuck Close. And he's almost a quadriplegic.
In one sense, I think I put a few bodies of work out this past year in school. They're not done, but maybe done for now. Not sure what to do next. I have said I think I need to "live" a little, need something to make art about. But "live" how? Go on an adventure? Maybe it's me, but adventure seem to need least a little cash. Maybe thats an excuse from the non-adventuring type. I don't know. Really, I have no idea what I meant by "live". A cliche I grabbed really. I would say Bukowski "lived", but all he did was drink, hang with whores and freaks, etc. Cohen did the same, in his own sense, really very few of the writers and artists I admire have really done anything besides their normal living. They just used it better.
A change of pace is good in one sense, and I am moving to St. Johns, but is that much a change? Lived there last summer, went to school, interned at St. M's, but really didn't do a whole lot different than what I'm doing now. Never made any good art. Not really sure when I'll get a real external change, I'll apply for some things and see what happens there. Got to get some things in order for that.
There is internal change, and I have always thought that is a way to things. The problem is of course what to change, perhaps the outlook, think outside the box, or take a knife to the box and cut it to pieces.
Got change something here, get a solution to something, I don't enjoy my idleness as much as I should.
