Jona8than Green Art and Other Things

"If I were dressing you for Halloween, I would be inclined to draw on the inspiration of those old fairy tales that feature the theme of restoration: like the prince who, because of a curse, has lived for years as a frog, only to be returned to his rightful body and role through the kiss of a merciful soul;..."
Rob Brezsny, Free Will Astrology

So I am depressed, not too hard to figure out. I made a choice to focus on my art, to be at the print shop all the time. I've spurned social contacts and activities to be at my work, I've did this purposely; wanting to show that I am an artist, to prove people wrong. Some people wondered if I was going to waste the scholarship, just take off, etc. Maybe some even though I didn't deserve it. Spite is a motivation, just as much as wanting to be successful. I wanted to show people up, and show people my mettle.

It wears on one though, and thus I feel depressed.
1) Could be the season, that does happen in this transition periods.
2) Could be the shitty job I'm working at as a dishwasher [ yes, I'm lucky to have a job, but damn, lumpen proletariat doesn't inspire happiness].
3)Economics has always been tied to my moods, but it will take some psychotherapy sessions and a financial consultant to figure those problems out. Sometimes I yearn for my friends, or somebody, to go out. Then I realize I have 5 dollas to my name, and going out is not an option.
4) I have lived with my best friends for four years together, always had a girlfriend close by. Now, everything is spread apart, missing. The girl I started seeing has decided not to see me, not that it was going well, but thats gone. I swear if I didn't have the guys at the shop to talk to, be worse off again.

I try to blame it on the art, but it isn't that. The art is going well, making some great prints and exploring interesting themes. My descison to ignore people over my art, well, maybe that should of been more balanced. I wanted to be the hermit, the dedicated artist, wanted that aura about me. I fall for myths as much as anyone.
However I feel slightly overwhelmed by all these issues, I'm down, and as much as I do" being down" well, I need to get out of this. I need my swagger back. Just how? I still want to pursue my art, dislike it when I can't. That's truth there. I don't want to work some shitty job, but I know saying that is riduculous, better artists than I have done so. So many variables as listed above, though relieving one would help I'm sure.

I have been up to a bit in six weeks, crossed the island twice, trip to Corner Brook, trip to Englee for Thanksgiving. Three weeks of unemployment where I made a nice bit of art. The art making is on a good pace, like to increase it. Seen another artist who worked at the show, made more prints than I have in this time period. To paraphrase Larry Rivers, jealousy is as legitimate a form of motivation as anything else.

Working on some etchings and lithographs mostly, been wanting to draw and paint at times. Get around to it eventually. I have started a side project; a chapbook with a friend. Would like to work on a series of painting based on imagery from MMA and UFC fighters, the dynamicism and action would make great paintings I think. Would tie in to my interest male sexuality and issues, along with interest in violence.

That's it for now.

A update of my whereabouts lately:

Been workin at Easter Edge Gallery, trying to get the 24H.A.M up and on the roll.

Printing when I can get off my lazy arse at St. Michael's Printshop. Currently in the process of editioning an etching, one of my rocket images. Not sure what the edition number will be, 13 or 15 seems a good number, currently on number 5.
I've had a lithograph hanging round as well, needing to be printed. Got to get that it printed soon, so I can get on to another one. Have a few ideas churning. The edition number will that will probably be the same as above.
Been currently debating the idea of editioning as well. Not sure if I like the justification of it. Editioning is for primarily economic concerns really, all goes back to it, ensuring its limited and rare, can ask for more money. So really unsure if I agree with it, goes againest some marxist tendacies of mine.

Drawing as well, some rockets and a new project. The new project deals with using the history and imagery of the North Pole Explorers. Manliplating history, maps, imagery, text, etc to reflect my own personal exploration. Inspired by Jane Urqharts book "The Underpainter", a quote found in it.

Besides that, I have another project in mind, which I will be writing a NLAC proposal for. Hopefully I get it, would be really swell. Probably will be hammering out the idea a bit on here. Send it to my homies, get their opinion on it.

Also reading Terry Eagleton's "After Theory", which is a realy interesting read. That will be followed by some Zizek.

Outside of that, I do waste a lot of time napping like a fiend in the heat, watching Seinfeld, surfing the internet way too long. Like now. Identified that I have a addiction to caffine, particularly coke. Got headaches from now having it all day.

Anyway, that's it.

So I have been reading about William Kentridge today, a south african artist. I have encountered him before in Vitamin D: Drawing but of course, it was still images. Then in digital class the other day, Mark Prier, brought him up and talked of his animation technique. Then I found a great interview with him in pressPlay
where he has this interesting quote pertaining to drawings.

What does it mean to say that something is a drawing-as opposed to a fundamentally different form, such as a photograph? First of all, arriving at the image is a process, not a frozen instant. Drawing for me is about fluidity. There may be a vague sense of what you're going to draw but things occur during the process that may modify, consolidate or shed doubts on what you know. So drawing is a testing of ideas: a slow-motion version of thought. It does not arrive instantly like a photograph. The uncertain and imprecise way of constructing a drawing is sometimes a model of how to construct meaning. What ends in clarity does not begin that way.

-William Kentridge.
pressPlay page 408

That passage really struck me, it seems to encapsulate how I feel about drawing but could never seem to get at...yet. It seems so true to me. Going to ponder it more. The idea of drawing-animation is very cool as well, thoughts of application on my skull drawings have come to mind.


I did some painting last night, a lot better than I had been doing. Light washes, pushing paint, started using a paint stick as well, which felt right and looked good as well to me. Bringing another element to the painting. Did a little more this afternoon as well before coming to this library. Really wish I could get up earlier, I'm feeling like not getting enough done. A lot of ideas.