Jona8than Green Art and Other Things

"It is the bareness of drawing that I like. The act of drawing is what locates, suggests, discovers."

Philip Guston, 1913 - 1980

"I don't need no make up
I got real scars
I got hair on my chest
I look good without a shirt"

Tom Waits, Going Out West

It's the Christmas holidays. I'm enjoying myself, relaxing as much as I can. Eating well. Resting a lot. Just generally taking it easy. Reading. Practicing anatomy drawing. Really trying to get the body structure down, improve my figure drawing and drawing in general.

The idleness gets to me. I shouldn't ever be not working. Feels odd. I was hoping when I came home to start thinking of new imagery to pursue, new Arctic imagery. There are still some ideas left in my sketchbook. Was also hoping to straighten out why I'm doing that imagery, that work. Seems like a lot behind it. Lot of different threads. The starting thread, the inspiration changed. Changed, as I guess it is suppose to.
It's funny, I've never really wrote any of it out. Always talked about it the most general terms. Mueller always said it can be personal, but no one needs to know. They need to know a little, I do need a statement for the show. Something. Something for grants even.

The writing about art thing, by artists. Scrap that, was going to write about how writing about art by artists is annoying and only a recently imposed thing. But really, it isn't a bad thing. Just me trying to avoid it. I really got to work on it. Maybe some writing in a notebook first.

He cut, split, the backbones out. The cuthroat cut between the head and gills, sliced down the abdomen from that cut. The header took the liver out, and wretched the head off. The splitter took the backbone out. The salter salted.

It was said of my Pop Green he always had a sound bone in the air. Which means as he cut the backbone out and tossed it, he was already cutting the backbone out of another before the backbone of the other one landed.

If you're wondering, I'm speaking of fish. and don't ask what kind, for it's Newfoundland and fish means something particular here.

A splitter. On the Labrador Coast. Land of Cain they call it.

I may be from the land of Cain, but I've never had a sound bone in the aire. Fuck, I wouldn't know to be a splitter if I wanted to be. I'd make a mang of the fish if I had to cut the backbone out.

Great Grandfather Brown, Henry, I believe the name was. Earl Pilgrim, an author and historian, said "he was the hardest man in White bay". That's a lot of mileage. Not sure what that totally entitles, but got an inkling. He was 7ft tall mind you, and that must help someone from fucking with ya. It's unlikely the same will be ever said of me.

It's hard measuring up to people of the past, people you don't know. It's even harder trying to find someone worth measuring up to as well. For a while there it was only ever fictional characters, and now, well, hasn't changed a whole lot. It's a dilemma to me. How to better myself when I can't seem to find a real better.
It's not a superiority complex, but rather a recognizing that everyone is in the same state as me.

If none better, than even something to rebel against would be good. But really, got nothing.

This is what happens when I'm not in the printshop

Do you think a person can be calculating in regards to how their life pans out? That one can calculate the right things to do, and then do them?


...It's a weird thought for Christmas Eve/Day now...maybe it is reading too many comic books...

It's been an O.K. week for me. Just getting a need to go off radar again for a while

Print wise, I have successfully etched my plates. Started printing my biggest plate, let's call the "ship" plate. Using colour again, I know, exciting! Nice green colour, it glows. Props to John McD for helping me there. I'll get a pic tomorrow I think. So that print is on to the B.A.T stage, now editioning.

Got two more prints to complete before Christmas, and would like to get my lithograph started soon. It's an intense image, well, not intense, but a technical image. Might be better if I practice over xmas, on my figure drawing. Might be a nice Christmas project for me. I have a bunch of anatomny books at home as wll, as well as a dad who sleeps a lot and a brother.

I'm doing well at the shop though. I have gotten some fine praise from Scott Goudie, and Gerry Squires knows my dedication. Was asked about a project by him, but beyond my experience right now. Would love to assist on that tho. Be so good for me.

Been working at the call centre thse past few nights. Trying to get a last few dollars out before Christmas. I hope I win the christmas raffle tomorrow at work, they have a big basket of booze for raffle. Be effing sweet. Only bought one ticket, but one is all thats needed to win. Work ends Friday or Thursday perhaps, a little up in the air.

Mike, the director gave me a little job of printing for this guy. He has some small lino cuts done by some kids, and needed them printed. Mike gave it to me; Might only be a few twenties, but really generous of him. I owe these people so much.

Going out Thursday night, yes, I should be working...sigh...sabatoge? A friend asked me to go to a show with her. Be nice to do something.

Was going to write something really introspective tongiht, least had thoughts...maybe another night.

Printed two plates today. They went swell, though one need a a bit more work. But was interesting. Need to try the bigger one with some colour, perhaps some blue. Bring out some depth in it.
I need pictures, so I can classify more than just bigger and smaller. Visuals help when speaking of visual art I've been told.

Picked up my art procurement submission today, I didn't get bought by the City, no biggie. Picked up a bottle of red wine. Ease my sorrows.

I was distracted a bit today, by my own self. Brain all over the place. Checking email too often. Looking for distractions. Cleaned out my paper cupboard. I have a lot of prints. There's still some images I need to get down though. Still feels like working up to something, something bigger, grander.

I guess I just feel I'm not getting to the reason I'm making this work, not showing the initial reasoning, showing what I'm trying to get at with the work. The heart of the matter. It's funny, I would never write it down though. Never tell verbally. Probably no wonder it is so hard to get there, I don't want you to know. Or I do. Just want you to work for it. I think my fourth year adviser Stephen Mueller is a big influence here.

Need to print for a bit. Let the mind wander. Need to get a lot done before Christmas.

I attended St. Michael's Annual General Meeting tonight. First time at one. Interesting to see how they work. I'm not technically a member; but John and Mike asked me to go. There was pizza and pops from Pi Pizza. I recommend it. Good pizza. Their salmon pizza was very curious. I liked it. I was able to interject a little input into the discussion. As well, there was some praise for me for doing what I've been doing.

The praise was nice. The board was very happy to learn I'm going to Banff. It's very nice to e validated by your peers.

I've been lazy though.
I have been at the Shop, but not printing like I should. Making plates. Though I think everyone prefers making plates. I have three plates now needing editioning. One that needs proofing.
And a litho stone that needs a drawing as well as a stone that needs a final graining.
Lot of things in the fire. Just got to get back to the hunger inside.

The worst is that I bought a new little plate the other day, and have been fretting over what to draw on it for two days. I should just work through it, and thats what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Scott Goudie gave me a small print for Christmas. He did an edition of a small copper plate for a Christmas gift kinda thing. Dan is bringing me an anatomny book the next time he's in, to help ith one of my drawing, well, I guess, all of my drawings. Mike and Tia gave me a Christmas card as well. I should get my own done soon, or buy some.

My mom and brudder should be in Friday. Mom is doing some shopping for xmas, as well as bringing in some boots for me.

I still need a roommate for the place.